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Big Brother 16 finale

Recap: 'Big Brother' Finale: What We Learned From Every HG

Recap: 'Big Brother' Finale: What We Learned From Every HG

I don't know how to break this to you, but all you need to know about "Big Brother 16" is the following: Cody won the final HOH, could've guaranteed himself $500,000 by evicting Derrick over Victoria, and yet he didn't; that's because Derrick is too powerful a player with too much intuition and too much command, and he wrangled Cody into feeling obligated (I guess?) to give him $500,000. 

That is unthinkably sensational gameplay. It doesn't feel real. Week after week, we've watched Derrick move more pawns into place (or at least one pawn named Victoria) and choreograph a flawless victory for himself. It even feels like the look on Cody's face has been "silver-medal good sport" for about a month. I figured all along that Cody was this season's Shane from BB14, a studly gamer with a good alliance and no Machiavellian masterstroke, but he turned into this season's GinaMarie, a proud runner-up who couldn't even muster the nerve to argue for a victory.

So congrats to Derrick for creating the straightest possible line to $500,000 and never coming close to veering from that plan. He's the best winner in the show's history, and he never once felt obligated to be the most interesting player. He's the real deal. 

To make the ending of this season feel more satisfying and less like the anticlimactic end to a season that wound up arcing right into Derrick's pocket, let's remind ourselves what we learned from every individual houseguest.


If your personality is defined by recycling, you will be trashed like so much non-biodegradable styrofoam. 

If you are a woman with the nerve to start an alliance against the prevailing alliance, you will be ostracized by a terrible man. He will also soon be ostracized.


If you look like you're constantly wearing the cheapest available H&M gear, no one is that sad if you leave the game.

DJs are barely people.


It's only a good idea to be paranoid if you're also smart. 

You might not be a great game player if Brittany can save herself just by muttering, "I'm a mother" at you.


If there's a prevailing alliance in the house and you're not in it, stop seeming smart immediately. That's why Victoria is here on Day 97 and Brittany isn't.

You can't pretend calling other people "fake" is a relevant criticism when you're playing "Big Brother. I think this show is called "Fake People Bein' Fake Lol" in Korea.


If you're being stalked in the "Big Brother" house, remember: Yikes, that's scary. 

I'm just sorry about that whole situation, Amber. You go, Amber.

Also, you look like a silhouette of young Whitney Houston in the "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" video. Soar, dear.


Ring, ring. Who's there? My entire reason for watching this season, that's who. 

Jesus heals all! Except the marks left on your neck from a chintzy bow-tie. He doesn't play that.

Why am I handing out life lessons when Jocasta gave us the best and most inspirational quote of the season with, "I've been with men! I've been with women! My past is my past!" 


It's hard to trust a player who ends most of his sentences with, "And I also need a kiss from Nicole."


Oh, Zach. I trusted you until you called Frankie the "smartest, funniest" person you know. Then I didn't trust this world.

"Fruit Loop Dingus" isn't funny. But when said with enough gusto, it can be... loudly unfunny.

Zach is the one player this season whose problems would be over if he was given a juice box or a nap.


If there's one thing I know about Donny, the mild-mannered, lovely, quaint man who always told us the whole truth, it's that he's secretly ex-military.

I still think Donny is in a secret alliance with a caterpillar and an apple. They'll have that forever.



It's hard to trust a player who is ending this game with kisses from Hayden.


Mack on the women when you're a cocky, unrepentant dude? Get called a legend. Mack on a man when you're a friendly lady? Get slut-shamed on national TV.

If you're not the dominating member of your alliance and you're a woman, get called a floater. If you're not the dominating member of your alliance and you're a man, get called $50,000 winner Cody Califiore.



If Rupert Murdoch would sound ridiculous calling himself a mogul, maybe you sound ridiculous calling yourself a mogul.

Opening your eyes really wide is not the same thing as having a personality.

I give it two years before he's on the new season of "RuPaul's Drag Race." And may the best Victoria drag queen win!


Don't vote out your best alliance member just because he's a troll doll in Bugle Boy shorts.

If you have a Final 4 deal, that's not the same thing as a Final 2 deal, is it?


Here is all I remember of this person:



He didn't win the pageant. But he definitely won the swimwear portion.

This kid. This kid.


Your entire personality is undercover if you're smarter than everybody. 

There is such a thing as "Big Brother" perfection. Even Zingbot is bowing down. 

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<p>Demian Bichir in The Bridge</p>

Demian Bichir in The Bridge

Credit: FX

Review: 'The Bridge' - 'Quetzalcoatl'

Fausto plots an escape, Sonya hunts Eleanor, and Linder seeks revenge

A quick review of tonight's "The Bridge" coming up just as soon as a horse steps on my foot in summer camp...

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<p>John Rocker</p>

John Rocker

Credit: CBS

Recap: 'Survivor: San Juan Del Sur' Premiere - 'Suck It Up and Survive'

'Survivor: Anybody Other Than John Rocker' premieres with a 90 minute episode

Arrivals. Welcome to the start of "Survivor: Seriously Anybody Other Than John Rocker" or, as CBS seems to want to call it, "Survivor: San Juan Del Sur," or "Survivor: Blood vs Water - Newbies Edition." As usual, Jeff Probst arrives via helicopter, scaring the nine pairs of loved ones down on the beaches. Once again, each pair is in isolation, where they've been given flint and told to prepare and enjoy a night together. Jaclyn is Ms Michigan, while Jon played football at Michigan State, but they don't want to be viewed as threatening. And speaking of "threatening," Veteran media-blamer (and current member of the media) John Rocker blames the media for labeling him a bigot, while Julie doesn't want to be judged for her boobs. [Oh yeah! We've got monkeys!] Missy and Baylor are the first to experience my new favorite simian characters. Missy is frequently divorced and Baylor stands behind her, especially when it comes to avoiding monkeys. Brothers Drew and Alec have a rivalry, with Alec wanting to beat his big bro. Farmer Dale and daughter Kelly have had an up-and-down relationship, but they're hoping to get close again. Josh and Reed are already making fire and catching crabs, which may stem from Reed's first Valentine's Day gift of flint. Married Val and Jeremy are competitive about their emergency professions and the game. And as for Nadiya and Natalie? They're praying. It appears Natalie had bleached the end of her hair so that I can recognizer her. And then there are amusingly bickering Louisiana firefighters Keith and Wes, who are having trouble with getting fire going. 

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Credit: ABC

Series premiere talkback: 'Black-ish' - 'Pilot'

What did everybody think of ABC's new Anthony Anderson comedy?

Yesterday, I published my review of ABC's "Black-ish." Now it's your turn. For those of you who tuned in tonight, what did you think? Was Anthony Anderson's panic about his family's blackness (or lack thereof) funny, or quickly annoying? Were you bothered that Anderson and Laurence Fishburne are so close in age? How did you feel about the balance between Dre's work and home lives? Did the stuff with the kids feel too cartoonish? Did you laugh? And will you watch again?

Have at it. I expect to be checking in on this one periodically, just to see if it can maintain the promise I saw in the pilot while also getting funnier.

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<p>Lana Del Rey</p>

Lana Del Rey

Who's gonna save the music industry: PornHub or Urban Outfitters?

No really: Porn site launches label, outfitter vinyl sales soar

Sure, 2014 may be on track to be the worst year in SoundScan's history for music sales, but there might be some bright spots in some very unsuspecting corners: PornHub and Urban Outfitters.

Today, the pornography site announced that it was starting its own label, in a report from Billboard. And yesterday, the clothing and home goods retailer claimed to be "the world's number one vinyl seller," according to Buzzfeed.

(Pictured: Lana Del Rey, whose most recent record "UltraViolence" can be bought now via Urban Outfitters as an "exclusive edition" on blue and lavender vinyl with special album art.)

As for the former, PornHub Records has launched, and coincides with a Song Search Contest to find a "PornHub Anthem." The winner won't necessarily be signed to the label, but is guaranteed to be have chosen from a panel (chock full of who we assume will be very distinguished guests) and the winning music video to be seen by at least 500,000 viewers, with $5,000 to be pocketed.

Keep in mind, PornHub averages about 40 million pageviews a day. How's that day job of yours. Good.

PornHub has hosted premieres of music video content like electronic producer FaltyDL's "Some Jazz Sh*t" video, Coolio's aptly named "Take It To The Hub" and Xiu Xiu's "Black D*ck."

"We're looking for acts that aren't necessarily porn-focused," said PornHub vice president Corey Price of their label model. "We're an ad-based network looking for content that appeals to our demographic. Mature lyrics for an adult audience; no boy bands or teen-pop, for instance."

As for Urban Outfitters' demo, there takes a little wordsmithing to make their case, but according to business reporter Sapne Maheshwari, this is what chief administrating officer Calvin Hollinger said during a meeting with analysts yesterday: "Music is very, very important to the Urban customer… in fact, we are the world’s number one vinyl seller.”

Instead of UO owning its own inventory, it offers wares through about 100 vendors who are already in the marketplace instead. So it's really connecting those businesses to the buyers. 

As for either really saving the music industry? Not really happening. Vinyl records sales are still a drop in the hat compared to digital and CD albums (like, the difference of a hundred million) and PornHub's music appeal will really all depend on how they release and promote their, um, output.

But, hey, this is what they mean when they say music is a "lifestyle."

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Key & Peele: We were too busy on our show to film an Obamacare sketch with President Obama
Credit: Comedy Central

Key & Peele: We were too busy on our show to film an Obamacare sketch with President Obama

Julie Chen on if we’ll get another 'Big Brother: All-Stars': 'I don’t think so'

Key & Peele: We were too busy on our show to film an Obamacare sketch with President Obama
“We had to turn him down,” says Jordan Peele. “We were making the season.” Adds Keegan-Michael Key: “We literally couldn’t fit it in to our schedules...So we actually had to relieve the president of his duties."

Chris from “Everybody Hates Chris” joins “The Walking Dead”
Tyler James Williams, who’s almost 22 and who most recently starred on “Go On," will play a character named Noah. No other details have been revealed.

Julie Chen on if we’ll get another “Big Brother: All-Stars”: “I don’t think so”
"I mean, look at the ratings for this past season — higher than last year, all new people,” she tells EW. "Look, we love the Will Kirbys, the Mike Boogies, and the Janelles, and they will always have a special spot in our hearts. And maybe they’ll make an appearance in some sort of stunt, but I think the beauty of this game is showing true fans who have never played it, who have played it just from their armchair at home, have a stab at it and realize, wow, I had no idea what I was in for. You keep the game more pure that way.” PLUS: Why “Big Brother 16” was the best season in years.

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<p>Julie Chen of &quot;Big Brother&quot;</p>

Julie Chen of "Big Brother"

Credit: CBS

CBS renews 'Big Brother' for Seasons 17 and 18

Either Derrick, Cody or Victoria will win the top prize tonight

On the verge of completing a season that combined high ratings with relatively little controversy, "Big Brother" has been renewed for two additional seasons by CBS.

CBS announced on Wednesday (September 24), just hours before the Season 16 finale, that "Big Brother" Seasons 17 and 18 are set for the summers of 2015 and 2016 respectively.

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CBS renews 'Big Brother' for 2 more seasons
Credit: CBS

CBS renews 'Big Brother' for 2 more seasons

CBS renews “Big Brother” for 2 more seasons
That means the long-running-reality show, which debuted in 2000, will make it to Seasons 17 and 18. “Big Brother: After Dark” will also return next year, on the POP channel.

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<p>Tuesday&#39;s &quot;New Girl&quot;</p>

Tuesday's "New Girl"

Credit: FOX

Ratings Analysis: FOX struggles, 'S.H.I.E.L.D.' bumps up, good times roll for 'NCIS: NOLA'

'Forever' isn't huge, but it's the best ABC's had on Tuesday at 10 for years

I dunno about you, but I'm already getting disturbed by the fact that we're two days into the 2014-2015 season and we're largely disaster-free.

OK. That's not exactly true. 

FOX's Tuesday is a disaster. Yes, "Utopia" gets a bigger DVR bump that most reality shows. That's a dud. And yes, "The Mindy Project" will get a nice DVR bump and it's a really good show at this point, but those numbers aren't acceptable. I'll let "New Girl" skate by for a while, just because it isn't FOX's biggest problem. 

But leaving FOX's Tuesday aside... No disasters.

Tuesday's big new premiere was "NCIS: New Orleans" and it drew a massive audience, one that it's hard to imagine any new show topping over the next couple weeks.

And Tuesday's other premiere was ABC's "Forever," which didn't do fantastically, but when the bar was set by "Lucky 7," "Mind Games" and "Killer Women" last season... It's a hit!

"Chicago Fire" came back strong.

"NCIS" remains impressive.

And although nobody's jumping around for joy at the numbers for "Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.," at least they went up from Fast Nationals.

Now let's take a deeper look at Tuesday's Live+Same Day ratings...

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<p>Al Pacino in &quot;The Humbling&quot;</p>

Al Pacino in "The Humbling"

Credit: Millennium Entertainment

Al Pacino will be looking for room in the Best Actor race with 'The Humbling'

Barry Levinson's latest received mixed reviews out of Venice and Toronto

Reviews of Barry Levinson's "The Humbling" out of the Venice Film Festival, where the Philip Roth adaptation premiered in competition, seemed mixed at best. Our own Catherine Bray dumped pretty hard on it, mostly bewildered about the choice of source material and the neutering of its gratuitousness. The "watering down" of "Roth's smut," she surmised, leaves the viewer with "just some mumbling from Pacino about how he don't get no respect." Others were kinder, still others not, but no matter, as a newly configured Millennium Entertainment has picked up the film with an eye toward insinuating it into the Oscar conversation.

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See Christopher Walken as Captain Hook on 'Peter Pan Live!'
Credit: NBC

See Christopher Walken as Captain Hook on 'Peter Pan Live!'

John Rocker calls 'Survivor' the 'worst thing I’ve ever done'

See Christopher Walken as Captain Hook on “Peter Pan Live!”
Walken has admitted to EW that  “I’m not a good singer.”

“Chuck” alum Zachary Levi may return to NBC in a musical comedy
Levi is producing “Tuned” with Eva Longoria, about an ambitious New Yorker — potentially played by Levi — who has  musical hallucinations.

John Rocker calls “Survivor” the “worst thing I’ve ever done”
In an interview with a morning radio show, the controversial pitcher said of “Survivor,” which he’s competing on with his girlfriend: “I can sum it up by saying it’s the worst thing I’ve ever done.”

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<p>&quot;The Vampire Diaries&quot; Season 6 art</p>

"The Vampire Diaries" Season 6 art

Credit: The CW

8 'Vampire Diaries' Season 6 teases from showrunner Caroline Dries

Most importantly: Are we done with doppelgangers?

On Monday (September 22) morning, The CW invited a handful of reporters to break up the madness of premiere week with a screening of the sixth season premiere of "The Vampire Diaries," which will air on October 2.

I'm not going to tell you much about the premiere both because it's a [relatively] long way off and because many of the salient plot points are embargoed. 

But mostly, I'm not quite ready to give more than a quick gut opinion. I felt like Season 5 was frequently over-extended and repetitive, but the finale also set in motion a number of shifts which, if utilized correctly, could clear a lot of the clutter from Mystic Falls. In turn, the premiere is mostly resetting the pieces. How's Elena handling the events of the finale? Poorly! How's Jeremy handling the events of the finale? Poorly! How're Stefan, Caroline, Matt and The Witch Twins handling the events of the finale? Poorly! And how is Alaric handling being alive again and whatnot? Poorly! That doesn't mean it's a depressing premiere, just that there's a lot of flux and, unlike last year's premiere, nobody is wandering around hubristically talking about how it was the best summer ever.

And what's up with Damon and Bonnie? Come on. You know I can't tell you anything.

But I can offer some hints about the season-to-come, thanks to "Vampire Diaries" showrunner Caroline Dries, who dropped by after the screening to answer some probing queries from the press.

I'm sure there are minor spoilers if you want to go into the new season knowing nothing, but otherwise...

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