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The sun rises in the east, tax time is April 15, and AMC has renewed "The Walking Dead" for another season.
Yesterday was a head-spinning day when it came to '90s nostalgia. In the morning, Showtime announced that "Twin Peaks" would be returning in 2016 with a nine-episode miniseries, and there was much rejoicing across social media.
In the evening, meanwhile, Deadline reported that NBC was developing a sequel series to "Say Anything," set 10 years after the events of the film, and there was much anger and skepticism on social media — and no one sounded unhappier than "Say Anything" writer/director Cameron Crowe, whose tweet about the project may have already killed it.
Why isn't Julia Louis-Dreyfus in more movies?
Yes, there are likely personal and professional reasons that keep one of the funniest ladies in Hollywood away from the big screen, but allow us to throw up our arms and demand more. Louis-Dreyfus has dominated television since the '80s (revisit her "Saturday Night Live" work and prepare to go bananas), "Seinfeld" making her a household name and providing a curse that only she could break. The success of "The New Adventures of Old Christine" and "Veep" rests entirely on Louis-Dreyfus shoulders. Maybe the weekly format provides a comfort, maybe Hollywood just isn't writing roles for funny women (that's not really a maybe, but let's not digress), but we're tired of the small screen having all the Julia Louis-Dreyfus fun. Her latest accolade only rubs it in.
The first words we hear on "The Flash" come from our hero Barry Allen, who explains, "To understand what I'm about to tell you, you need to do something first: you need to believe in the impossible."
Cameron Crowe: I intend to stop NBC’s “Say Anything” TV series
The filmmaker tweeted his displeasure over the news of a follow-up to his iconic 1989 film. In fact, according to Deadline, he wasn’t even given a heads up. “Regarding the announcement of a “Say Anything” tv show… @JohnCusack, @IoneSkye1 and I have no involvement… except in trying to stop it,” he wrote. Deadline says "there was an effort on part of 20th TV to reach out to Crowe but a miscommunication with his executives led to the disconnect."
Report: NYPD investigating “7th Heaven” dad Stephen Collins after he confesses to child molestation
TMZ reports that Collins’ estranged wife, who he’s in the middle of a divorce fight with, secretly taped his confession during a therapy session. According to TMZ, Collins "revealed to her in 2012 he had molested and/or exposed himself to several underage girls years before. Collins and Grant went to a therapist where she peppered him with questions about the incidents ... and he not only answered, he was specific."
Jimmy Fallon unveils an “Ew!” music video with will.i.am
Watch them transform into teenage girls for the “Ew” official music video.
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Last week Ichabod and Abbie raised a DIY Frankenstein’s monster, Jenny got arrested, War got his law degree and became Captain Irving’s attorney and Katrina got to hold the “idiot ball,” opting to stay a prisoner of Headless to glean information about his plot with Moloch.
So the “Root of all Evil” should obviously be good intentions gone wrong, as proved over and over by our heroes, but it probably has something to do with money. Let’s find out!
We open with the Horseman of War carving a miniature woodwork of Terrytown Psychiatric because even harbingers of the End of Days need a hobby. The tiny Terrytown replica transforms into the real deal and we join Ichabod and Abbie already inside. They’re here to see Captain Irving but Henry has thrown a wrench into their plan. It turns out that in his haste to not receive electroshock therapy, Irving didn’t read that book he signed and it had a provision in it where Henry can bar any visitor to his client…namely ones named Abigail Mills and Ichabod Crane.
Insert your own joke about lawyers being the real evil, here.
Mills and Crane just missed Henry and despite not being allowed to let them inside, the Terrytown receptionist is apparently allowed to give out the lawyer’s personal information. This includes the name of the taxi company he called to whisk him away, because riding a fiery horse away from the psych ward is less than subtle, I suppose.
Meanwhile, Jenny is being sprung from lock-up and Sheriff Reyes is hanging out to watch because the chief of police has nothing better to do than harass the youngest daughter of an old acquaintance. Reyes continues her streak of ignorantly being the most insulting person in the world by comparing Jenny to a wayward dog Reyes used to own. One that would always run out into the road and chase cars…until one day the dog didn’t come back. Because it died. Because it didn’t listen to Sheriff Reyes. Reyes twists the knife deeper by ending with “I just don’t want to see you end up like your mother.” Yes, yes. We get it, Sheriff. You’re morally righteous. Get your condescending ass out of here!
Crane and Mills have tracked Henry’s taxi ride to the bank. They’re on an impromptu stake-out, waiting for their quarry to surface when Ichabod notices something odd inside the cafe. Two men are talking, holding hands. One of them is wearing a hat. Crane asks if that’s considered acceptable these days. He’s talking about wearing hats indoors and not homosexuality because he served with Baron von Steuben and watch the finale of “Glee” and just what is Abbie implying about Ichabod’s moral compass to assume he would condemn two men in love!?
Okay, calm down Ichabod. You’re wandering into Mary Sue territory.
Finally, Henry exits the bank but before they can stalk War to his next location, shots are fired from inside the bank. Because of course they are. Sowing dissent is kind of War’s job description y’all. What did you think he was doing in there? ANYWAY, Crane is forced to stay outside while Abbie runs in because of stupid Sheriff Reyes’s new rules and he is not happy about it.
Inside, a security guard is dead on the ground and a bank teller with a 15 year tenure is losing her mind and robbing the bank. Mills plays everything right: she reminds the teller of who she is, and tries to talk her down from shooting any more bank employees or patrons. We know the teller is not in her right mind because the of weird dark sheen crossing her face and the ancient coin clutched in her hand. But Abbie’s skills as a negotiator are cut short as no-nonsense Sheriff Reyes shoots the poor possessed bank teller in the chest, killing her instantly. God, the “normals” are a worse menace to our heroes than the combined forces of hell.
Outside, Ichabod is pacing behind the police line like a good worried partner. As Abbie walks over to fill him in, I am once again struck by just how short she is! The height differential is freakin’ adorable. Abbie swears that the bank teller was the sweetest lady in the world and would never have gone on a murder spree. It must be War’s doing it. But how? As they wonder, a dirty hipster wanders off with the ancient coin in his hand and murder in his eyes.
Sometime later, we rejoin our heroes at the Exposition Library. Crane is complaining about skulking around the Sleepy Hollow underground to avoid Sheriff Killjoy, but his rant is cut short when the bank’s security footage reveals the teller stealing one of Henry’s deposited coins. The thievery sparks a memory in Ichabod from back when he was on a secret mission from General Washington…
…and can I just interject here that there is no reason other than bragging for Crane to still be starting EVERY SINGLE STORY with “Back when I did this secret mission for GENERAL WASHINGTON.”?? Dude, we get it. You were BFFs with the Founding Fathers. Just chill.
During a mission, Crane was helping retrieve a special shipment of coins from counterfeiters before they could melt them down. Special coins that look super ancient. Unless my eyes deceive me, those are Roman coins stamped with the profile of Caesar. Of course the coins were evil, and the commanding officer who touched one later went on to betray the fledging nation. That man’s name? Benedict Arnold.
Oh, come on! Is there any super-important event Crane only heard about later on, instead of playing a starring role in?
Crane muses on the allegory of a coin sent to morally bankrupt the owner and we cut to the hipster who is totally building a bomb. This will not end well.
Time to catch up with the world’s worst double agent. Katrina is “spying” on Headless and Henry again. By just casually standing around and listening to them talk in the other room. Either these guys want her to overhear their conversation or it’s just a carriage house full of ineptitude. Katrina has been getting to Headless, feeding him thoughts to question why War gets to be in charge and he, poor Horseman of Death, has to stay hidden. War is having none of it and finally tell his mom to butt right the hell out and stop messing with a simpleton who doesn’t even have a head to defend himself against her womanly wiles.
But wait just a damn minute, where did Katrina get this wardrobe change? I mean, if she’d put on some skinny jeans or a maxi skirt that’d be one thing but where does one get period-appropriate clothing for an out-of-time 18th century aristocratic woman? Not that she doesn’t look fetching, but what?
We’ll have to file the Mystery of the Blue Dress away for another day though, because Jenny has returned. Abbie was able to get her community service instead of jail time, but before she runs off to scrub graffiti from walls, Jenny casually mentions she knows a guy who might know something about the coins. After all, Jenny was part of the supernatural community for years while Abbie suppressed her memories.
Jenny also casually breaks into the police records using Abbie’s login, because she suspects Sheriff Reyes might not be the upstanding officer of the law she appears to be. And there is something weird. Reyes was the one who had Jenny and Abbie’s mom put away in Terrytown. Her testimony led to the Mills’ girls being put into foster care and orphaned after their mom committed suicide. Jenny is outraged. Abbie tries to hedge that Reyes was just doing her job and to be fair, their mom was out of her damn mind. Jenny freaks out on Abbie and leaves in an understandable rage.
With no other leads, Crane and Mills head down to the river to talk to Mr. Hawley. Because that’s where he hangs out…because he is Aquaman. More specifically, he is clearly Southern Gentleman Aquaman (SGA). Oh Lord have mercy, please let this disreputable dealer in supernatural antiquities be a new cast regular!
Ichabod is immediately suspicious. This man is obviously a pirate and not to be trusted and CLEARLY there is only room for one man with a sexy accent in Abbie’s life. Abbie disagrees.
After some prodding, SGA reveals that coin was probably a Tyrian shekel. Specifically, one of the 30 pieces of silver Judas accepted to betray Jesus. While Mr. Hawley doesn’t believe in all this supernatural hocus-pocus, he knows that people that do believe in such things pay handsomely for such things and he is totally down to help relieve them of their burden. Crane is outrage. Abbie is amused.
Suddenly, the flower shop explodes. Guess that hipster really hated his boss. Back at the Frederick estate, War puts the finishing touches on his miniature replica of Sleepy Hollow and smiles. Any minute now, Quasimodo is going to show up and burst into a rendition of “Out There.”
After all, the device that JJ Abrams used to bridge the original "Star Trek" series of films and television shows to his 2009 reboot was an appearance by Leonard Nimoy as an older Spock, adrift in time and able to catch a little face-to-face with both Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto.
Why wouldn't Paramount eventually make a move to try to get William Shatner to take advantage of some other temporal paradox and make an appearance with Chris Pine, passing the torch from Kirk to Kirk or, even better, maybe even taking a poke at the younger version of himself?
NEW YORK — Trent Reznor might still be slightly uncomfortable with this whole movie composer thing. Even after earning an Academy Award and a Grammy Award with Atticus Ross for their "Social Network" and "Girl With The Dragon Tattoo" scores, respectively, it's clear this was not a career path he imagined transitioning into. The 49-year-old musician best known as the face of the industrial rock band Nine Inch Nails has David Fincher to thank for this unexpected bounty and now Reznor and Ross have re-teamed with the iconic director for his latest critically acclaimed thriller, "Gone Girl."
Teresa Giudice: I didn’t understand I would go to prison under a plea deal
"I didn't fully understand it,” she said in her “Watch What Happens Live” interview, adding that her lawyer didn’t tell her what a plea deal would entail. She also described to Andy Cohen her sentencing: "My nerves were pulling. At one point, I couldn't even move my fingers. They were like stuck. I couldn't open my hands… see they're a little shaky. My nerves were shot. I've had sleepless nights.” PLUS: Bravo reportedly offering Bethenny Frankel $1M to return to “Real Housewives."
TNT orders “1906,” an event series based on the Great San Francisco Earthquake
The four-hour event series is described as “an account of San Francisco before during and after the 1906 Earthquake and fires and the incredible graft and corruption that it exposed. Mother nature caused the earthquake, but human nature caused the disaster."
“Twin Peaks” on Showtime: More David Lynch will be a TV treat
“Sure,” says Jeff Jensen, "I would prefer a wholly original series or film—but I will take him in any form, be it home movie experiment or franchise revival. This is a filmmaker utterly inspired in his choices (staging, framing, lighting, sound, editing) and committed to finding the most unique and resonant form a scene or narrative can take, a filmmaker whose work is so wonderfully, weirdly, idiosyncratically, defiantly, infuriatingly personal. And watching him do all that while working within the confines of the episodic TV—within the confines of an established storytelling world—is quite appealing to me. Not to mention that Lynch’s work is often helped, rather than hindered, by colliding and clashing with format, genre, and a medium’s conventions.” PLUS: 14 burning questions that must be addressed, 5 other times “Twin Peaks” was brought back, can Lynch stay weird?, and how “Twin Peaks” helped carve out today’s prestige-TV landscape.
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NBC orders 'Say Anything…,' a TV rom-com follow-up to the movie
The 1989 Cameron Crowe Gen X film will be remade as a “follow-up series” for Generation Y. According to Deadline, "The 'Say Anything' series picks up ten years later. Lloyd (Dobler) has long since been dumped by Diane (Court) and life hasn’t exactly turned out like he thought. But when Diane surprisingly returns home, Lloyd is inspired to 'dare to be great' once again, get Diane back and reboot his life."
In retrospect, it wasn't all that shocking that it took less than a season for "The Originals" to usurp "The Vampire Diaries."
"The Originals" wasn't just a spinoff that took one character away from "The Vampire Diaries." For the better part of two season, Joseph Morgan was a menacing force on "TVD," while Daniel Gillies and Claire Holt supplied both charm and threat. [I'm not going to try pretending that Phoebe Tonkin's Hayley was any particular key cog in the "Vampire Diaries" machine, but y'all know I like Phoebe Tonkin.]
Stripped of Morgan, Gillies, Holt and Tonkin, "Vampire Diaries" was left with a fundamental adversarial weakness in its fifth season and the show compensated by doubling and tripling down on doppelgängers and by trying to make viewers care about Travelers, who were scary enough to make you clutch your passport if they sat next to you on a Eurail journey, but nothing more. In only a season, "Vampire Diaries" went from a show that constantly made fans say "Whoa" to a show that mostly left me saying, "Huh?"
In contrast, "The Originals" went through the sort of early series growing pains that every new show goes through -- Denizens of Mystic Falls were compelled to forget Stefan's time as a football stud -- in short order. There was a clarity of purpose that was admirable and understandable. See, vampires and werewolves and witches all wanted a piece of New Orleans' French Quarter. And who could blame them? Oysters! Po Boys! Gumbo! Jazz! Even if I couldn't always understand the in-fighting within the factions, I knew that vampires, werewolves and witches don't get along under normal circumstances and as those factions battled and a seemingly human faction interceded as well, that made for a clear narrative thrust.
Did I still have problems with "The Originals"? Certainly.