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<p>&quot;HIEROGLYPH!&quot;</p>

"HIEROGLYPH!"

Credit: FOX

Firewall & Iceberg Show, episode 14: ABC, FOX and NBC upfronts

How excited were Dan and Alan to finally see 'Hieroglyph' footage?

It's upfront week at the Firewall & Iceberg Show, which leads to three logical segments. In the first, Dan and I discuss NBC's schedule. In the second, FOX's. In the third? ABC. What do we think of the scheduling moves? What about the new show trailers? And how many excuses will we find to say "HIEROGLYPH!"

The rundown:

NBC (0:00- 10:10)
FOX (10:10- 20:20)
ABC (20:20- 31:00)

As always, you can send us questions at firewalliceberg@hitfix.com. There's also now a YouTube channel where you can subscribe to all upcoming Firewall & Iceberg videos, at https://www.youtube.com/show/firewalliceberg.

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"Selfie"

"Selfie"

Credit: ABC

Does the trailer for ABC's 'Selfie' make you want to hit the like button?

Do you call #awful or #awesome?

My initial reaction to the concept of ABC's new sitcom "Selfie" was a snarky expression (maybe one of those colon capital P emoticons) and possibly a GIF of a cat rolling its eyes. The show is a riff on "My Fair Lady," but in this version Eliza is "instafamous" and wants to find out how she can function in the real world! After seeing the trailer, I'm feeling more colon backslash. This could be a fun, light way to spend thirty minutes, or it could be the worst kind of romcom. The only way to know for sure is to watch. 

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<p>The cast of &quot;Black-ish&quot;</p>

The cast of "Black-ish"

Credit: ABC

A Note to ABC: Stop thinking audiences like ironic and reclaimed comedy titles

It's not too late to change 'Black-ish,' 'Fresh Off the Boat' and 'Selfie'

Dear Paul Lee,

Titles are tough.

I don't have a magic answer for what titles are good and what titles are bad. 

I have, however, gotten a handy rule of thumb in recent years: If the ABC Comedy Development Department thinks a title is good, it probably isn't.

What network, you'd be smart to ask, is actually good at making sure that its shows have good titles? I can't tell you. More shows on TV have awful titles than have good titles. It's just a thing.

But I know that ABC keeps screwing over perfectly good shows with perfectly dreadful titles and I don't think I'm going to get many protests on this one. 

ABC just can't help itself. 

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"Tattoos After Dark"

"Tattoos After Dark"

Credit: Oxygen

Exclusive clip: A guy wants a dolphin on his head on 'Tattoos After Dark'

Is a dolphin tattoo ever the right idea?

Dolphins are truly magical creatures. Mostly everyone loves them. But does anyone really need a dolphin tattoo? More importantly, do they need a dolphin tattoo in the side of his or her head? That question will be answered tonight on "Tattoos After Dark" (Tues. May 13 at 10:00 p.m. ET on Oygen). If you haven't seen the show, it's from the producer of "Jersey Shore" (SallyAnn Salsano), so you already know she has an eye for colorful talent. In this case, rather literally.

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"The Whispers"

"The Whispers"

Credit: ABC

5 things about 'The Whispers' trailer that are damn scary

The new ABC show executive produced by Spielberg has promise

Since "The Whispers" has some pretty tony credentials (executive produced by Steven Spielberg, directed by Mark Romanek ("One Hour Photo"), we have every reason to think the new ABC show will be sufficiently polished. What the trailer (posted below) tells us is that it might be damn creepy as well. Here are the five reasons why we'll have our hands in cover-the-eyes position when we watch the first episode, just in case.

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Jimmy Kimmel takes shots at ABC, Fox’s 'Gotham,' NBC musicals

Jimmy Kimmel takes shots at ABC, Fox’s “Gotham,” NBC musicals
During his annual upfront standup routine, Kimmel also offered advertisers the chance to pay $25 million for naming rights for his baby — a “cervical integration.” Kimmel also called Fox’s “Gotham” “the show for people who love everything about Batman except Batman” Kimmel also proposed a show called “Kittens with Cancer” while questioning NBC’s strategy: “You know what you do when you’re No. 1? You double down and hit ‘em with Peter mother#$%^ing Pan. Is (NBC Entertainment chief) Bob (Greenblatt) running a network or a high school theater camp?”


ABC posts full trailers for its new shows
Here’s a full look at “Fresh Off the Boat,” "Forever," "Galavant," "The Whispers," “Cristela” and “Secrets and Lies."

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Anderson Cooper gets a huge boost from interviewing Donald Sterling

Anderson Cooper gets a huge boost from interviewing Donald Sterling
Cooper’s CNN show was up 73% in the key news demo last night.


“Girls” adds a former “Homeland” terrorist as Hannah's classmate
Actress Marin Ireland is joining the cast next season as Hannah’s “rich, sexual, beautiful but cold” classmate at the Iowa Writers’ Workshop.


ABC boss calls Shonda Rhimes “the Charles Dickens of the 21st Century”
"I call her the Charles Dickens of the 21st Century if Charles Dickens had been black and a woman,” said ABC Entertainment president Paul Lee at the network’s up fronts.


Here are 8 ways “Mulaney” resembles “Seinfeld”
Is “SNL’s” Nasim Pedrad the new Elaine?


“Mad Men’s” Ginsberg might be schizophrenic, says a psychiatrist
Dr. Paul Puri says of this week’s episode: "Through the contemporary psychiatric lens, which is very biology-based, the show has really dropped hints all along that Ginsberg is an odd guy and possibly on the schizophrenia spectrum.”


Watch the trailer for ABC’s new fantasy reality show “The Quest”
“The Quest” mixes geek fantasy with a reality competition.

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'The Walking Dead' offers the 1st glimpse of Andrew Lincoln in Season 5

“The Walking Dead” offers the 1st glimpse of Andrew Lincoln in Season 5
What is Rick Grimes looking at?

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Michael Jackson

Album Review: Michael Jackson's 'Xscape' ranges from delightful to awful

What were they thinking releasing some of these songs?

“Xscape,” out today, features eight previously unreleased Michael Jackson tunes, completed by top tier producers.

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"The Originals" - Daniel Gillies

"The Originals" - Daniel Gillies

Credit: The CW

Interview: Daniel Gillies says 'Originals' season finale is 'non-stop'

The star explains why the Original vampire will always be Team Klaus

As Original vampire Elijah on "The Originals," Daniel Gillies is smooth, suit-wearing sophistication. In real life, Gillies may not drink blood (I'm assuming) but certainly he shares his character's thoughtful, smart perspective. The season finale is upon us (Tues. May 13 at 8:00 p.m. ET on the CW), and we already know, with Hayley in labor, big problems are afoot. The episode description suggests Klaus will be making a "heartbreaking decision," but we're given no clues about what challenges Elijah faces -- and you know there will be challenges. I talked to Gillies about whether or not Elijah will save the day (fingers crossed), why we both think Elijah is more invested in saving Hayley than anyone else and why Elijah will always be Team Klaus (and not Team Mikael). 

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"Leviathan"
"Leviathan"
Credit: Cannes Film Festival

Cannes Check: Andrei Zvyagintsev's 'Leviathan'

Closing out our Competition preview with one of the Palme d'Or favorites

Welcome to the final entry in Cannes Check, In Contention's annual preview of the films in Competition at this year's Cannes Film Festival, which kicks off tomorrow. Taking on different selections every day, we've examined what they're about, who's involved and what their chances are of snagging an award from Jane Campion's jury. We close thing out, neatly enough, with what will also be the last Competition film to be unveiled on the Croisette: Andrei Zvyagintsev's "Leviathan." 

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ABC defends putting racy 'Grey’s Anatomy' on during the 8 pm family hour

ABC defends putting racy “Grey’s Anatomy” on during the 8 pm family hour
“I think it’s much less relevant than it was than five years ago,” ABC Entertainment boss Paul Lee said of the network family hour, adding: “We will make sure whatever we air is appropriate.” PLUS: Lee is sorry to see “Trophy Wife” go.


Simon Cowell launching “La Banda” on Univision
Cowell is teaming with the Spanish-language network to find a Latino boy band.


Clay Aiken officially wins his Democratic Congressional primary 1 day after his opponent’s death
The “Idol” alum, who was declared winner today, said his opponent Keith Crisco was “a gentleman, a good and honorable man and an extraordinary public servant. I was honored to know him.”


Seth Meyers and Jimmy Fallon last night told the exact same Donald Sterling joke
“The Tonight Show” and “Late Night” tape 90 minutes apart. Doesn’t NBC have somebody monitoring their monologues?


Anna Gunn hints at a “Better Call Saul” cameo
“I just heard a little rumor about that,” says the “Gracepoint” star and “Breaking Bad” alum.


University of Iowa reveals the “Girls” scenes it rejected — Hannah’s bungles with bikes
The writers sent the university descriptions of the scenes it wanted to shoot on campus, and the university released those e-mails to the local Iowa City Press-Citizen newspaper.


MSNBC sued for mistaking a man named Keith Todd for a criminal named Todd Keith
Keith Todd was featured on the reality show “Caught on Camera.”


CBS still hasn’t picked up “How I Met Your Dad”
If the “How I Met Your Mother” spinoff isn’t picked up by Wednesday, it could end up on another network.


Alec Baldwin goes on Twitter rant after his wrong-way bike arrest
"New York City is a mismanaged carnival of stupidity that is desperate for revenue and anxious to criminalize behavior once thought benign,” he tweeted.


“Game of Thrones’” Shae speaks
"I wouldn't call it shrewd,” Sibel Kekilli says of this week’s episode. "I would rather call it straight and fearless.”


Larry King finds Andy Cohen a date on Tinder
“You mean, it's only for gays?” King asked.


“NCIS” boss: How we’re sending off Ralph Waite tonight
"Every character has their moment to say goodbye” on tonight’s season finale, says Gary Glasberg. "Tremendous thought went into the funeral scene.”


“The Blacklist”: Here are the highs and lows from Season 1
James Spader was of course a high, Megan Boone’s wig was a low. PLUS: The season finale delivered, and the show ended up owning its clichéd lameness.


Introducing John Krasinski’s daughter
The former “Office” star tweeted a photo of his And Emily Blunt’s first child, Hazel.

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